In the book, That Boy, I wrote about three best friends. One of which is a girl. I’ve always believed that it’s possible for men and women to be just friends.
But then again……maybe not. This video is so funny. Take a look.
What do you think? Have you ever had a guy best friend? Would he have hooked up with you had you asked? Do you think he thought of you as just a friend? Can men and women be just friends?
Piper Bayard says
December 18, 2011 at 11:48Oh, how funny! I wouldn’t have guessed the gender divide on this.
My BFF and personality twin is my writing partner, Holmes, proving that men and women can be the best of friends. We are married to amazing, wonderful people, and we want what we have more than we want what we don’t have.
You can love many people, but you marry a life. You can’t build a life with everyone you love.
Thanks for sharing that video, Jillian. Very fun!
Debra Kristi says
December 17, 2011 at 14:47Very fun! It’s so funny how the men and women view it so differently. In college all the friends I hung out with were guys. I had a best bud that was a guy up until recently when he got a girlfriend and she put a stop to it. Things that make you go hmmm.
Carrie says
December 15, 2011 at 21:15I think definitely – but it depends on your age. =) and possibly your marital status. The older you get, the easier it is to have a guy friend – and not have to worry about romantic entanglements.
Angela Wallace says
December 15, 2011 at 17:27I think men and women can be just friends (if our society was different). As the guys said, attraction is going to be there, but that doesn’t mean you have to act on it. And attraction is not the same thing as love. I used to like having guy friends for the reason you said, Jillian–less complicated. Except my guy friend was engaged. To me that said “safe to have as a friend.” To the fiance, that said “totally inappropriate.” So even though I think it’d be nice to have a guy friend, I avoid it now.
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 17, 2011 at 08:30I agree, it can be tricky.
Reenie says
December 15, 2011 at 14:21That video is brilliant! Of course I’m a woman and I thought that men and women could be “just friends”, but the key word is “thought”. After being married and getting to know my hubby and some of the things I’ve learned about men from him…totally not at all possible. Unless the man is gay! lol
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 17, 2011 at 08:29I think women are better at drawing lines than men!!
Tameri Etherton says
December 15, 2011 at 11:58So funny! Well, let’s see… back in the day I had a lot of besties that were guys, but as I got older, got married, had kids, and they the same, the friendships went astray. My one BFF I’ve had for almost 30 years would totally have been more if I let him, but, um, no way.
I think being best friends when I was single was way easier than being besties while married. Then you get another person involved and it just gets weird. Hmm, makes you think, though!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 17, 2011 at 08:29I think it can work both ways. But the video is so funny, and apparently has gone viral. It’s had over 3.5 million hits as of today!!
patriciasands says
December 15, 2011 at 09:45The video is hilarious. The women are so certain the friendships are possible when first asked the question but when pushed they ALL backed down. I couldn’t believe it! The guys’ testosterone levels were clearly in charge. Ask them again in a couple of years!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:12The subtlety of it is what made me laugh. The girls were are like definitely. The guys were all, UH…. It made me laugh! And I agree. In high school and college and when you’re both single, being best friends can be tricky.
Barbara McDowell says
December 15, 2011 at 06:08I agree with Amber and Jenny that it can happen and work, but there are fine lines to watch out for. I have three besties and one is a guy who is like a brother to me. When we became friends in college, I knew he had feelings for me and harbored a hope of dating while I felt a deep emotional connection that I told myself I was channeling instead into friendship. There were some dicey moments with bruised feelings that we hashed out and got beyond. He’s married now so the dynamic has changed (we can’t hang out to all hours watching movies and trading SoCo shots) and there are some topic boundaries, but the bond and closeness is still there. Great video clip and post, Jillian!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:22Thanks!! And you do just have to have boundaries. You summed it up well.
Jenny Hansen says
December 15, 2011 at 00:57I grew up with ALL guy friends – I ended up finding out that there was interest here and there though. I think a guy can be friends with a girl he’s not attracted to, or with someone he’s already had a relationship with (SLEPT with) but you’ve got to get it out of the way.
Caveat: when there is a huge age difference or everyone is married, I think you can still be friends. The danger is when you tell that person things you don’t share with your spouse…cause then the intimacy begins…
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:21I agree. Most of my best friends were guys too. I dated one of them in high school. Then we dated other people, but we used to talk to almost every night on the phone. He offered a different perspective about boys than my girl friends did. I did always kinda crush on him though. He was so cute!!
David N. Walker says
December 17, 2011 at 15:32Must’ve had washboard abs.
Amber West says
December 14, 2011 at 22:48I think it can happen…but it’s tough.
I had a really close guy friend after I got married. He was my concert buddy (my hubs is 11 years older, so our musical tastes don’t always match up) and person I could talk to about pretty much everything. We never went past that line of friendship – it was never even a thought.
I do know that is rare, though.
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:19I think when you’re married it makes it easier to be just friends.
Emma Burcart says
December 14, 2011 at 18:42That was hilarious! I have always said that men and women can’t be friends unless the man is gay or married and/or the man doesn’t find the woman attractive. I think the guy eating the sandwhich said it best. They are men.
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:18And the girls are so cute, especially when the guys are near them. They get that smirk. They know what’s up.
David N. Walker says
December 14, 2011 at 17:06Maybe it depends on age or being happily married or something, but I consider you to be a close friend. Kristen, too. Am I weird? Wait . . . don’t answer that.
David N. Walker says
December 14, 2011 at 17:07Maybe age difference enters in, too. The vast difference in age between me and either you or Kristen makes us poor candidates for anything other than friendship.
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:17You could be me and Kristen’s sugar daddy. Aren’t you writing a book about that??
David N. Walker says
December 15, 2011 at 14:15Sorry, Jill. Sugar daddies have to have money.
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 17, 2011 at 08:29Dang. Better get your book published!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:16I think you’re right. As you grow up, if you’re happily married, it makes it easier to be best friends with the opposite sex.
Myndi Shafer...one stray sock away from insanity. says
December 14, 2011 at 15:41I love how CERTAIN all the gals were, and how “Ummmm……” the guys were. Too funny…and very telling!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:15I loved that part too. There’s also a quick part where one of the girls is like, well it was just the one time, which was funny too.
Natalie Hartford says
December 14, 2011 at 14:34LMAO!! Love the video!!!
I mean, can they be just friends? Sure. Whether one has feelings or not…now that’s a different story. I think when it comes to BEST friends, between a guy (straight) and a girl, there are usually complications where one is secretly more invested than the other. I’d say likely most of the time. So that would make it hard…
Right now, I don’t have any male BEST friends. And those that used to my male BEST friends, it always fell apart because someone always got hurt because they wanted more so?!?!?!
I don’t know…complicated…possible but perhaps not likely?!?!?! LOL!!!
Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says
December 15, 2011 at 11:15I love having guys for best friends. For me, having friendships with guys feels so much less complicated. I love my best girlfriends, but guys are just different. And I’m sure sometimes there’s an initial attraction. Some kind of spark that causes you to become friends, but then I think you realize that you wouldn’t be so good together as a couple. Like I ADORE my best guy friend, but I could NEVER be married to him. He is just like me, my partner in crime, and we’d probably kill each other.