Movie Review – Drive

It’s movie review day here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. We had a couple new releases to choose from. Drive and I Don’t Know How She Does It. Both look like decent options, but, well, Ryan Gosling is in this movie, and there’s the hope that he will be shirtless again, like he was in  Crazy, Stupid Love.

Here’s the trailer.

 

The Verdict: I just left this movie. And I gotta get it out there. This movie sucked. It sucked on so many levels. First of all, if you think this movie has anything to do with driving, it doesn’t. There are no hot cars, nothing fast or furious, and no racing. I love Ryan Gosling and quite honestly, I’m pissed he’d even do this movie. Surely when he read the script and saw that the whole thing consisted of: Driver stares at her, Driver glances at her, Driver looks at his friend, Driver sits in his car and stares into nothingness, that should have been his first clue that he should not have done this movie. Seriously, I didn’t count, but there were like 200 words spoken in the whole freaking movie. Instead it was looks and music, and the music evoked ZERO emotion in me. And I didn’t get his character at all. He seemed like a nice guy, but he was weird, probably because he wouldn’t speak, but then okay, there’s a hint of romance, there’s a few hints that if he spoke, he might say something nice. Then he kills some people. And it is so unbelievably bloody and gory, I was like WTF? I can’t even rate this movie, I hated it so much. Sorry Ryan, we love you here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. Love most every movie you’ve done, but this one sucked.

Oh and to top it off, most of the movie he wore a Levi’s jean jacket as a shirt, like all buttoned up. I swear to you, I bought the exact same jacket for my boyfriend for Christmas in 1984. And then he got disgusting blood and probably brain matter on the white quilted scorpion jacket he wore over the Levi’s jacket, and left it on. Walked around LA with blood all over his jacket, and no one noticed.

The sad thing is this movie had a decent plot. It could have been good. The premise of saving the girl next door and her son from the bad guys and falling in love in the process, could have been great. It just wasn’t.

I even tried to make the most of my time with Ryan. Like I tried to fantasize it was just me and him there. But he rarely spoke, and rarely smiled. When he smiles, he lights up the freaking screen, but I couldn’t.

Last week we fell head over heels with the movie, Warrior. We had such an amazing time together, the kind that you think you’ll remember for the rest of your life. But then two days went by, and he hadn’t called. By day four, still no call and I’m complaining to my friends about it. They say call him, so I do. He doesn’t answer, doesn’t return my calls. By day six, I’m planning his demise. Finally today, day seven, my girls say, we’re taking you to the club. We’re standing outside waiting in line to get in, when the hottest guy ever pulls up in the hottest car ever.

He slaps the bouncer on the back, tosses his keys to the valet and walks inside. He’s tall, blonde, has the perfect amount of scruff on his face, and has the sweetest smile ever. By the time we get in there, he’s holding court at a table, surrounded by beautiful women. I make my friends watch him while I saunter by. When I get back they say he didn’t even notice me. Yeah, there’s other guys here, but this is the guy. We do a quick shot, and I make my move. Walk straight up to him, tell him that there’s an issue with his car, that he’s needed out front. Of course, he follows me. When he finds out I made him leave the club just to get his attention, he laughs. It’s a sexy, hearty laugh. He says, “Wanna ride?”

I assume he’s referring to the car, but will go with either way he meant it. Cuz I’m broken hearted, remember? Don’t judge. He drives way too fast, breaking every traffic law possible on his way to his place. He’s reckless and sexy. The way he’s holding the shifter and handling the car, I seriously was wishing I was a Ferrari. We get back to his place and……

I let you finish that on your own. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Just a reminder of how we rank movies here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos:

One Star = Walk of shame. I was in last night’s dress, carrying my shoes as I rushed off. I can’t believe I wasted my time on him and pray no one I know sees me.

Two Stars = Bad date. He didn’t really do anything wrong, we just didn’t have any chemistry. Maybe he just wasn’t my type. I probably won’t answer if he calls.

Three Stars =Hookup. We had a great night together. Don’t know if it will be more than that, but it was sure fun while it lasted.

Four Stars = Stalking him. What a night! We danced, we kissed. Now if I could just get him to call me.

Five Stars = Happily ever after. I love him! I want to marry him, have his babies, and live happily ever after.