It’s movie review day here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. I’m super excited about today’s movie, Abduction, starring Taylor Lautner. Lily Collins, daughter of musician Phil Collins plays his love interest.
I read a review about this movie and they thought it lacked plot, had a poorly written script filled with clichés, and had uninspired acting. I figure it’s got three things we love here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. Hot shirtless man + dangerous action + romance. I’m thinking I will like it.
Here’s the trailer.
The Verdict: Well first of all, for those of you hoping, Taylor is not shirtless in this movie. Bummer. I know, I know, he’s trying to get away from being Jacob, but him shirtless is why so many of us switched from Team Edward to Team Jacob. There is one brief part where he’s shirtless, but you really only see his back. Then he does a quick shirt change, but that really doesn’t count. The ab sightings were zero. I think there’s one team we can all agree on when it comes to Taylor. That would be TEAM NO SHIRT!
So I was slightly disappointed in that. Also if you watch the movie trailer, you see him give the love interest a really hot kiss in a train. After watching him struggle to be with Bella for so many years, I was ready for him to have some sexytimes of his own, ya know?And this scene was hot. They had crushed on each other for like years, they watched people being killed, they are on the run, worried they won’t make it another day. They kiss, he picks her up and slams her against the wall, kissing her and then……..um, nothing. She says she needs food. I’m sorry, but this is clearly not realistic movie making!! I know they were in high school, but they almost died!! And they didn’t need to show it happen because of the PG-13 rating, but they still should have done it. A guy that hot has you up against the wall. He’s kissing you after the huge adrenaline rush you’ve both had. Trust me, food is gonna be the last thing on your mind. That’s why the saying Living on Love is so popular. Sex over food.
Oh also, there’s a scene where it shows him at what is supposed to be his wrestling match, but he wears workout shorts and a shirt with the arms cut out. Where are the singlets?
Okay, so I’m moving on. The movie was pretty good. Taylor can actually act. The love between him and Lily Collins was sweet and believable. (Although, if Taylor went to my high school, he would have been the hottest guy there, not just some guy with no girlfriend, but I digress.) The movie was a bit slow in a few places, but overall I enjoyed it. Will it be a critical success? Probably not. But as we know, I go to a movie for one reason, and that is to be entertained. And I was entertained.
I saw him at a party, dumped my loser boyfriend for him, and we went on an adrenaline filled adventure together. I almost got killed a few times, but it was worth it for that one kiss on the train. Although, in my fantasy, we totally got busy before we got hungry. And now that we’ve gotten the bad guys, I’m really hoping we stay together. But it’s hard to tell. It may have been just a Hookup.
Just a reminder of how we rank movies here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos:
One Star = Walk of shame. I was in last night’s dress, carrying my shoes as I rushed off. I can’t believe I wasted my time on him and pray no one I know sees me.
Two Stars = Bad date. He didn’t really do anything wrong, we just didn’t have any chemistry. Maybe he just wasn’t my type. I probably won’t answer if he calls.
Three Stars =Hookup. We had a great night together. Don’t know if it will be more than that, but it was sure fun while it lasted.
Four Stars = Stalking him. What a night! We danced, we kissed. Now if I could just get him to call me.
Five Stars = Happily ever after. I love him! I want to marry him, have his babies, and live happily ever after.
I totally and completely agree about the train scene and then all of a sudden “I’m hungry…” what???? No. Like you said must have been the PG-13 rating or the screenwriter had a blip of some sort. I would rate it as Hookup as well. 🙂
Thanks!! And thanks for stopping by!!
BAHAHAHA this made my day. A hookup? Hilarious rating system, I may borrow and tweak it for my own use >_>
Sad about no abs but been interested in seeing this movie. I kind of do like him for him since his Shark Boy days =)
The rating system is a fun way to review the movies and I can gush on about the movies like they are a boy! And yes, Taylor is a cutie and I was glad to see him doing a movie like this. I’m hoping its just the beginning!
Fun review! I’m glad it’s not a terrible movie and Taylor does seem like if he could get some serious roles when Twilight is over he might really make something of himself. He’s going to be one hot 40 year old. Oh god.
Yes, I’d say I’d have to agree with that. Maybe they’ll do a twilight remake in 20 yrs and he’d play some old guy lol
I wish that I was in town to see this with you. I’m team Jacob, and I really adore Taylor as a person. He is absolutely adorable and I want him to break away from the Jacob stereotype. I was thrilled, and thoroughly impressed, to learn that he did a huge majority of his stunts. KUDOS!
Just a hookup? That kinda makes me sad. The trailer looks GREAT.
It didn’t have as much action as I thought it would. It was enjoyable, but I think he could be a real action star!!
This movie review made me laugh and smile. I myself being a woman of 45 years, but the heart and soul of my 18 year old self, have many inpure and innappropriate thoughts about Taylor Lautner and this post cracked me up!! I felt like I was reading something I would totally write!! So fun!! I am going to see the movie just to see the hot kiss if nothing else……………
Well your thoughts aren’t too inappropriate as TL is now 19. Although a body like that should be illegal, it is actually not anymore. And I’m the same, my body is older but I’m afraid my brain still likes to pretend I’m 18 as well. So that makes it less offensive in theory.
So go to the movie, see the train kiss, and imagine your own version of what happens next.
OMG your reviews just crack me up.
Thanks. They are really fun to do!!