Yesterday my 17-year-old daughter had a morning dentist appointment, got home at 10:30, and “since it’s a block day and I’m not really missing much” felt there was no need to go back. We had a fun talk (I’m trying to be nice here. It wasn’t really fun.) It was her telling me all the logical reasons why she shouldn’t go back, and me telling her all the reasons why she should. Finally after a fifteen minute conversation, I finally got so frustrated I said, “Go talk to your dad!” She came back out and told me that she hates when I make her talk to him because he tells her to make her own decision.
And I was like, “Well, that means you make the decision, but you live with the consequences. For example, this spring when you want to skip with your friends and go shopping, I might have to say no. If you want to travel with your brother to California for a race, you may not get to go if you’ve missed too much school.”
I got to thinking about my decisions in life. I’ve decided some of my worst decisions were also the most memorable. As a young adult, I was probably the queen of bad decisions. Boys I shouldn’t have dated, things I shouldn’t have done, drinks I shouldn’t have drank, and classes I shouldn’t have skipped.
I’ve decided that making good/bad decisions is subjective. Sometimes making a bad decision or traveling the wrong path is how we learn. It’s what makes up the stories of our lives. It’s how we learn. I’m pretty sure, I’ve never told a story about how much fun I had in a certain class. (Unless, they happened to involve a really cute boy.) The stories we tell are the ones where we did something a little sneaky. When we colored outside the lines. When we broke a few rules.
So I got to thinking about some of the bad decisions I made that I’ll never regret.
The Halloween party that I let a guy drive me home from. I knew who he was, had mutual friends, but we had never really met. He was adorable, back from college, and when he shook my hand, he didn’t let go. Which actually made such an impression on me, I used it in my book.
The date I didn’t cancel with a guy in one of my classes because I had just met THE GUY OF MY DREAMS! Seriously. He was super cute, tall, buff, a football player, and super sweet. I felt a little sleazy dating them both, especially when I clearly KNEW football boy was special. Was I wrong. I ended up marrying the boy from that date. So glad I took the slightly sleazy road.
The time my friends and I drove over Spook Hill way too fast.
The time we went parking at the duck pond and got caught by the cops.
The times I broke up with my high school boyfriend, even though my friends thought I was crazy, to go out with my high school trifecta. Hot guy, hot bod, hot car. He was older, dreamy, and a total jerk who broke my heart, but it was so worth every minute, every tear.
The time I took a group of my daughter’s friends out TPing a friend’s house at 2am. Their hilarious giggling made it so worth it. Even better was when I took my son and his friends out just this past summer. They wore full camouflage, were piled in the backseat, and just after we had parked and turned our lights off, a cop drove by. They hadn’t even gotten out the of car but were so funny. I swear, I would have paid that cop to drive by again just to give them that heart pounding thrill of we almost got caught.
All the Weaving labs I skipped to go Friday Afternoon Club with the Pikes. I’ll forever have the stigma of saying I got a D in Weaving. Still. What fun.
Life is about decisions. But they are YOUR decisions. Sometimes they are good ones that you’d never want to change, other times they are bad and you live with the consequences. But they are all part of living. The memories that make up your life.
What about you? What bad decisions have you made that you are glad that you did? (Oh, and in case you’re wondering. She chose not to go back to school. Big surprise, huh?)
Read about some of Jadyn’s bad decisions in my book, That Boy. A contemporary romance about falling in love with the boys next door. And coming this January, the sequel, That Wedding!
I love this post! I’m trying to think of bad decisions that worked out great. I don’t know if this was bad so much as foolish, but I shoved everything I owned into my Toyota Corolla and moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico after college – sight unseen. I had no job, no apartment, just a hotel reservation and a desire to try something new. Three weeks later, I had a nice apartment, a legal assistant job, a church home, and met my future husband. We’ve been married 19 years.
Your daughter’s reasoning sounds a lot like one of my daughters. Sometimes we have to count to one hundred before we point out the consequences of her choices. I think we’ve been guilty of not letting her fully suffer from those consequences either – which actually delays her growth. (As painful as it is to watch!) Nothing serious, but there have been times when we should have stood aside. 🙂
As far as bad decisions in MY life the biggest one is when a tall, handsome popular frat guy asked me to a football game and I said no because I already had a date with nerdy, awkward freshman pledge. I was crushed but felt I had to do the right thing because nerdy boy was so nervous when he asked me. That bad decision turned good though when tall, handsome, popular guy called a week later to ask me to HUGE social event that was a month away. He had never had a girl turn him down, and he was intrigued. A few years later, tall, handsome man asked me to marry him. We’re celebrating our 24th anniversary this year. LOL!
That’s an awesome story!!! Gotta play a little hard to get LOL.
We learn the best from our own mistakes and not from what the Mom says 🙂 Oh, how well I know that one! But, on the other side, as a mother I want to spare my kids all the disappointment, pain and fear that I’ve experienced in my young, wild years. I know it’s not going to happen but we, mothers, try.
Fabulous post, Jillian. I too weave a lot of facts from my own life (or my friends’ lives) into my writing.
Yeah I do too. Little pieces of people you’ve met or seen. Experiences shape our lives.
Are you sure that wasn’t my 17 year old daughter? Ha ha, nice to know that other parents are thinking the same things!!
Yeah, although I would’ve done the same thing.
Well, you read my naughty and nice post, so you KNOW I’ve made some really bad decisions, but like you said, they were all learning experiences. I don’t know if I’d change anything because then I might not be where I am now and this is exactly where I want to be.
I know! I loved those posts!!
I am one of those people who always does what’s expected, thinks everything through… and am probably totally boring (that’s why I make stuff up). One of the few examples I can think of is when I told my parents I was going to a local amusement park for the day, and instead went to see my favorite band in concert (I wasn’t allowed to go to concerts). It was awesome! And my parents didn’t find out until I told them, like 20 years later. LOL. Thanks for sharing your adventures!
Thanks for stopping by!! And oh my gosh, there were so many times we “went to midnight movies” or something and went to concerts or parties instead!! Thanks for sharing!!
Bad decisions. Where would I start. I think my entire youth from about 12 straight through to my early 20s was riddled with bad decisions. Some I regret. A lot I don’t because they are all part of what makes me…me! Without them, I would have the knowledge, experience, and character that I do. But…I often made life much more difficult on myself – I think that’s where my regret lies. I never had to be sooo unhappy….so much time wasted!! But, I can’t turn back the clock….and I did LEARN a LOT!! I would NOT have wanted to be my mothere – lord that woman must have been on pins and needles for years wondering if I’d find my way. Here’s to your daughter living, learning and finding her own way. I can only imagine how hard it is to “let go” as a Mom. Best wishes!!
GREAT post!!!
Thanks!! I bet you were wild, girl!!! And my daughter said, “mom! You used me in a post!?”
Um. Yeah.
Knowing her she’ll make me sign something to restrict my blog posts.
I have made so many bad decisions but, thinking back, nearly everyone came a silver lining. I’m trying to think of one I really regret. Er…… no that one is far too embarassing….. okay, there was this time…….no, maybe not……Oh, I know. My sister and I went……..wait a minute, she’ll probably sue me. Hmmmmm, maybe there isn’t any 🙂
Now I’m dying to hear them!!!
I’ve never thought about it that way. Okay here’s one, I was at a party in high school and this guy- tottly hot guy was rubbing my shoulders then asked if I wanted to go to his van to get a real massage. I knew what he meant I wasn’t stupid nor did I pretend to be. I went with him and the next morning rolled into my house amazingly happy and covered in baby oil.
OMG. LOVE that story. The covered in baby oil has me sitting here laughing!!!
I have a memory of skipping a band concert to have my first drink with friends. and getting caught. by my mom. it didn’t stop me from sneaking out occasionally thereafter, but it did stop me from getting into worse trouble as I found out those girls had that night, when one overdosed on drugs.
That’s not a good thing. And I don’t mean to make it sound like all bad decisions can be good, some can be life altering in bad ways. I’m just talking about fun badness. LOL
I rarely cut class in high school because there was never really anything intriguing enough to do…but one memorable occasion a group of us went to the reservoir and lounged in the sun, drank stuff we shouldn’t have had, and stole an afternoon out of time. That’s a golden memory. I can still smell the wind off the lake and feel the heat of the sunshine. I think you’re right – our best and worst memories are connected to the things we didn’t do right and the things that went terribly wrong.
Skipping school to go to the lake is an awesome memory. We used to go to a lake, stay out all night, then go for breakfast and school the next day. never really understood why we went to school that last day. I guess we weren’t that bad LOL.
Bad choices make good stories!
They can, fun stories sometimes!! Thanks for stopping by!!
First of all I thought you were about 20 years old!!
I have my list that is for sure, but all of them led me to this amazing life I am living now, so I guess I was on the right path after all!
Ha no!! I have a 17 year old daughter!!
Bad decision that turned out good before it turned bad: I once asked a girl to marry me after dating for two weeks. We had three years of absolute bliss before she just decided to leave with no reason given.
Well the bliss part was good!!