Is True Love Really A Crap Shoot?

So here’s a big question for you. How do you tell the difference between LOVE and TRUE LOVE?

I can hear the crickets chirping in the background. I know no one is going to raise their hand and answer this question quickly. It’s a hard question. We’ve all been in love before, probably many times. But what is the difference between just loving someone and wanting to be with that person forever? How do you decide to marry someone? How do you know? Is it love or true love, like the fairytale, forever kind?

I’m working on writing a new series and that question comes up in the book. A young girl asks her grandfather for advice. She asks the question, “What is the difference between love and true love?” She’s in love. She need to know!

As the author, I have to answer this question for Grandpa. What would a Grandpa say? What would we say to our own daughters when they ask this question?

So I asked my husband this question as we’re driving back from a romance filled trip to drop off my car for servicing. Ha! Anyway, I said, “How do you know if it’s love or true love? Like how did you know you wanted to marry me?”

Seriously, you would have thought that I asked him how the universe was formed. He looked at me blankly, but I could see the wheels turning inside his head, and his brain was screaming at him to proceed with caution.  This is one of those questions that a man has to answer very carefully. Over the years, I’ve asked him a lot of questions like this. Do you think Megan Fox is prettier than me? Would you really want to sleep with a Victoria’s Secret model? Do you like my new hairstyle? Do these jeans make my butt look big? Is my butt getting too big? He always answers these questions carefully, and now that I think about it, he tends to be a bit vague. I’m an extroverted thinker. I talk through problems. I will talk and talk and talk and finally get to my actual answer. He is the opposite. He thinks it all out in his head, then when he speaks, you know he’s thought it through.

So do you wanna know his brilliant, well thought out answer?

“It’s a crap shoot.”

Now I’m not at all a detail person, but I needed a few more details here and told him he may want to explain that a little further. He basically related our amazing love to gambling. He felt like he knew I was the right girl for him, placed his bet on my number, and then rolled the dice. As in he married me. And basically, he got lucky.

So I’m back to writing. Grandpa tells her that true love leaves a mark, usually with a frying pan. Which is totally something my Grandpa would have said to tease Grandma. When she questions him further, he says, “True love is a crap shoot, sometimes you get lucky and hit the jackpot, sometimes you’re left wallowing drunk and broke.” Yeah, so when I say my amazing husband inspires my writing, this is what I’m talking about. Nothing like a little real life to balance out my happy fantasy world.

I also should mention that our 25th anniversary is only a few short years away. I’ve been hinting since day one that it’d be really cool to renew our vows. Hubby has always been opposed to this idea, and I now realize why. He rolled lucky the first time and is afraid to roll the dice again. If we get married again, we might jinx the whole thing! So I’ve decided he might be right. Plus, I’ve learned the art of compromise over the years. I will pretend to be sad I’m not getting my way, then he will feel guilty about not wanting to marry me again and take me on a second honeymoon instead. Which really if I think about it, is what I want more than the vows anyways.

Joan Crawford once said, “Love is a fire, but whether it’s going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.”

Does that mean we never really know? We just think we know? What is your experience? Tell us about your true love. Did you recognize it when you had it? Did you let true love get away, or did you roll the dice and marry it?