That Forever

Read an Excerpt

Sunday, January 19th

Favorite part of me.

Devaney

I look at my phone again, tapping my finger on the table. He’s late. Nearly ten minutes, but honestly, he’s worth the wait. Especially when I see him walk into the room. I know immediately when it happens. Our eyes connecting. A smile on both of our faces because we’re in each other’s presence again. I let out a little contented sigh, thinking how lucky I am. How in love.

And I can’t help but notice how scrumptious Chase looks as he comes toward me. His cheeks are tinted pink from the cold weather. His hair is covered in a stocking cap, which allows me to focus on his beautiful face. Strong jaw. Gorgeous eyes. And don’t get me started on the tall, muscular frame that is evident, even through his heavy winter coat.

He greets me with a deep kiss. One that surprises me. In fact, for a few moments after, I’m rendered speechless. He doesn’t usually kiss me so passionately in public.

But I like it.

“You’re late,” I say, giving him a fake pout.

We’ve only been at school for a week, but it seems like we’ve barely had time to spend with each other. Between his workouts, our classes, and my sorority stuff, this first week has been a whirlwind.

He sits down and kisses me again. “And I hated every minute of it.”

“Of not being with me?” I flirt. And, gosh, I love flirting with Chase.

He gives me a smirk. “Of missing lunchtime.”

I give him a playful swat on the shoulder in return. “You’re in luck,” I tell him. “I already ordered.”

He gives me another deep kiss. “Just one of the reasons I love you.”

I pull his hat off and push my fingers through his now-messy hair. It’s thick and soft and still slightly damp from him showering after his workout.

 “Your hair might be one of the reasons I love you,” I counter.

“Out of all my body parts, that is your favorite?” he whispers in a low, sexy-as-hell voice.

Which totally causes me to blush. I’m trying to think of a witty comeback when our food is brought to our table. I expect him to immediately dig in, because he’s constantly hungry. But instead, he just holds the fork in his hand and gazes into my eyes.

I can’t help but grin. “Let’s go with one of my favorites.”

He still doesn’t start eating, just raises an eyebrow in my direction. “What’s another?”

“Hmm.” I slide my hand under the table, placing it on his upper thigh and saying, “Definitely your gorgeous eyes. They were blue when you were a kid, but now, they have that ring of light brown around the pupils, and I swear I could stare at them all day.” While I’m being honest about that, I’m also sliding my hand closer to what he wants my answer to be.

He reaches down and grabs my hand before it gets to his crotch. “Is your roommate, Alyssa, back in town yet?”

She had to drive three hours home this weekend for her little sister’s sixteenth birthday party.

I shake my head and smile. “Not until tomorrow. Too much snow out west for her to get back.”

“Ah, what a shame,” he says, not at all meaning it, before finally focusing on his food.

We eat in comfortable silence, him stopping a few times in between to tell me about his workout. How fast he ran. How much he lifted. The goals he’s set for himself. But pretty soon, he’s pulling me out of the restaurant and heading toward my dorm.

I find myself walking fast, anticipating stripping off his clothes the second we get in the room.

But he slows us down, holding my hand, seemingly wandering aimlessly around campus.

“I love the snow, but I will admit, I’m looking forward to this summer in the Ozarks.” He grins. “You in a bikini all day.”

I grin back at him. “I still can’t believe our parents did a joint venture with Tripp, deciding to build another house on the adjoining land.”

“It sounds pretty cool,” he says. “Like how we’ll not only use it for our yearly vacation, but also how it will be a private compound for other families to rent out for special occasions.”

“I know! Can you imagine how cool it would be to get married there?” I stop and look at him, worried that might freak him out. I mean, technically, we’ve only been dating for a month, as of yesterday.

“Like, us get married there?” he asks, his whole body stilling for a moment before he continues walking.

“I never really thought of it until just this moment,” I say, backtracking a little, “but if it’s anything like what I think it’s going to be, yeah, actually, it would be perfect for us. It is where we started. Plus your mom said for events that people could rent out the whole area. Both houses, all the guest cottages. It could be really intimate.” I give his shoulder a little nudge. “Like the honeymoon cottage was.”

“It’d be cool to go there for our wedding night,” he says, shocking me that he already sounds bought in. “But I’d want to honeymoon somewhere else, I think. Somewhere you could be naked, like, all the time. I wonder where that could be,” he teases. At least, I think he’s teasing.

“Well, if we’re dreaming big, a private island.” I catch his gaze. “But I’d go anywhere with you, Chase, and be ridiculously happy about it.”

“That’s good because if I’m lucky enough to get drafted, who knows where we’ll end up.”

“The answer is still the same. Honeymoon, draft, life. I just want to be with you.”

He stops us in the middle of campus. “Look how gorgeous it is right here, right now. The ice glistening on the trees. The fresh white snow sparkling in the sun.” He turns to face me, grabbing my waist and pulling me close. “Not to mention, how beautiful you look. Your hair is like a beacon against the white, calling me to you.”

I let out a dreamy sigh, thoughts of marrying him happily swirling in my head.

But just when I’m about to kiss him, he lets go of me, takes a few steps backwards, grabs a pile of snow, and tosses it at me.

“Okay, maybe more like calling me to a target,” he says as the snowball hits me right in the chest.

The hit brings me out of my reverie, causing me to duck behind a tree and make three snowballs in quick succession. But the second I stick my head out from behind the tree, I see a snowball in the air, coming right at my face. I turn around, letting it hit me in the back before whipping around and rapid-firing all three of mine in Chase’s direction. Two hit him—one at his waistline, the other skimming the top of his shoulder. The third, he somehow manages to catch then launch back at me, hitting me directly in the face.

The lesson here is to never get in a snowball fight with a quarterback, even when your own throwing skills are pretty darn good.

Next thing I know, Chase is barreling toward me and then tackling me to the ground. He lands on top of me, but it’s obvious he planned it because he is able to keep himself from completely smooshing me. My clothes are instantly soaked by the wet snow underneath, but when his lips find mine, I couldn’t care less.

And when he stops kissing me and pulls me up, I see that we’ve started something. Others are making snowballs and throwing them at each other, ending up in one big snowball fight that Chase and I most definitely join in on.

The fun part is, this time, we’re a team. And we’re a good team. In life and in snowball fights.

We get back to my dorm a few hours later, both soaking wet and half-frozen, but exhilarated from the fun.

And things get more exciting when, the second we’re inside, we start frantically kissing and stripping off our clothes.

It makes me feel hot on the inside, but on the outside, I’m still shivering.

Chase picks me up and carries me into the bathroom, turning the shower water on hot and letting the room get steamy in more ways than one.

We hold each other tightly in the shower, kissing in the tiny space as the hot water trails down us.

“I think I’m finally warm,” Chase says in my ear. “How are you?”

“I’m thinking any part of me that’s not quite warm, you could remedy in my bed.”

He nips at my neck. “Sounds like the perfect way to spend the rest of the day.”

Monday, January 20th

Too cocky.

Chase

Treyvon, my roommate, and I are up at the crack of dawn, heading to the stadium.

“What’s that?” Treyvon says, pointing to a piece of paper in my hand.

“Oh, it’s something for my quarterback coach. Something I did in high school. Seemed to work, so I thought I would try it again.”

He tries to grab it from me. When I swipe it away, he laughs at me. “You know I could just tackle you.”

And he’s right. He could. He’s got two sixty on a six-six frame and plays on the defensive side of the ball.

“I’m faster,” I say with an eyebrow raised in challenge, knowing I can run a four-point-five forty-yard dash as I take off running toward the stadium.

Surprisingly, he’s right behind me. We’re both a little out of breath six blocks later when we get just outside the doors.

“I could still tackle you,” he says. “And for the record, I can run the forty in under five seconds, so just tell me what it is.”

“Goals.”

“What kind of goals?”

“Team goals for my time here. What I want us to accomplish.”

“We were so close in so many games last year. Coach said we needed to learn what it felt like to win. Win big. Gain confidence. I know what that feels like from high school. I know you do, too. And with the starting QB and most of the defensive line gone this year, either from transfers or graduation, I like my chances of getting playing time. I want in on these goals.”

I hand him the piece of paper.

When he reads the first goal, he lets out a whistle. “National championship.”

“Yeah, preferably a few.”

He keeps reading my list. There are a lot of goals, but none are personal. They are all team goals. Division and league championships. All-American players. Record-setting passing and receiving yards. Even goals for the defense.

“You know, I could have written this myself freshman year, but then …”

“You didn’t play, and the team kept losing?”

“Exactly. It brings you down. One, because you think you can do better. And two, you’re used to winning. My high school team won two state championships when I was there.”

“We won them, too.”

“Why do you think that is? What makes a team great? What makes the magic?” he wonders aloud. “And how do we bring it on the field with us and spread it around?”

I don’t have to think twice. “Respect.”

“Respect for what exactly?”

“Your teammates. Your leaders. In my experience, you don’t have to be a senior or a captain to make a difference. You start with yourself. You work really hard. You help others. You spend time together off the field. In a way, it’s like a relationship. You need good chemistry, and you get through the tough times by working hard and building trust.”

“We need to play some smashmouth football, like they did in the old days.”

“Couldn’t agree more. Thus, the list,” I say. “Should we show the list to a few other guys? See if we can get some buy-in? Present it to the coaches together?”

“You don’t think it’s too cocky?” he asks. “Like arrogant maybe?”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting goals. Especially when you know you are going to do everything in your power to accomplish them. Come on. It’s freezing out here. Let’s get inside.”

We go into the stadium, which is always impressive. Two stories, trophies in cases, and lots of red. A storied history.

Treyvon doesn’t go toward the hallway that leads to the weight and locker rooms. Instead, he walks to the center of the entry hall and sits on a bench, taking it all in. “I grew up dreaming of this.”

“Me, too,” I say, sitting down next to him. “My parents have been fans their whole lives, and so have I. Watched pretty much every game for as long as I can remember.”

“And Danny Diamond is your godfather, right?”

“He is.”

“I know we didn’t meet at your recruiting visit, but I heard all about it. And I will admit, most of us watched the video of you. That amazing play. What’s it like to make it on a national sports network in high school?” He gives me a wink and a nudge. “Bring the girls in?”

Treyvon makes me laugh because he reminds me of Damon and loves the ladies.

 “Not exactly. I was kind of dating someone then.”

“Someone else with the last name Diamond, I heard.”

“We are now, but while she was in college and I was in high school, it was a little difficult sometimes.”

“I’ll bet. That really why you’re here early?”

“I had planned to graduate early since before I started high school. But, yeah, Damon didn’t want to miss all that senior-year stuff. Prom, graduation. I got both things I wanted by coming here early. Being with her and getting a jump start on the incoming competition this fall.”

“You think you’ll start?”

“That’s the goal. How about you?”

“That’s the goal,” he replies with a grin. “Let’s make it a reality, shall we?”

But then he hands the paper back to me. “Go ahead and give this to Coach. And I don’t mean your QB coach. I mean, the head coach. Then, we get to work. Show these guys we’re serious.”

“Sounds like a plan.” And it does. I realize it also feels good to have someone on my side on this.

Well, someone besides Dani. What I didn’t tell Treyvon was that this letter isn’t the only motivational item I brought with me from home—I’ve already hung the cupcake and dream notes in my locker.

After my workout, I call Damon. It’s just not the same, working out without him.

“Bro,” he says when he answers. “You know I’m literally in class right now.”

“Why did you answer then?”

“Because,” he says in a loud voice, “I got Chase Mackenzie on the line!”

I hear cheers in the background. And it sort of makes me sad. Everyone at school was supportive of our team. Of me. And don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be here, but I’m starting over again. Without my best friend by my side.

“I miss you,” I tell him.

“He misses us!” he says to the class. “Even you, Coach.”

“Ah, you finally took Global History.”

“Yep. Had to wait until I won Coach another state championship ring, so I’d be sure he’d pass me.”

I hear Coach make a huffing sound in the background, and then he says, “Diamond, why don’t you take your call out in the hall. But get your butt back in here quick.”

“Yes, Coach,” Damon says, and then I hear a door shut. “All right, bro. So, what’s it like? You kicking ass and taking names?”

“It’s been a week.”

“Plenty of time,” he says.

“Remember freshman year—well, and every year after—how I—”

“Gave Coach the goal list?”

“Yeah.”

Damon lets out a loud whistle, then goes, “Oh, not you, Ms. Harper, but you are looking lovely today. Just talking to my boy, Chase, here.” Then he says to me, “Sorry, busy place. What did Coach Markel say?”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t give it to the QB coach.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“You gave it to the head coach, Coach Parson?”

“I did.”

“What did he say?”

 “Impressive list.”

“That’s it?” Damon asks. “He should have been jumping up and down in joy that someone wants to make the team great again. Of course, maybe he doesn’t want to get too excited until I get there. I can understand that.”

I can’t help but laugh. Damon always knows how to lighten the mood.

“I bet you’re right about that. I know I can’t wait to throw to you again. I took some receivers out onto the field for fun, played a little pitch and catch.” I sigh. “They aren’t you, Damon. And it’s possible that a few of them dropped the ball on purpose.”

“Trying to make you look bad?”

“Not sure yet, but maybe.”

“Stop passing to them then. Get some guys who give a shit and want to get better. Don’t try starting from the top. Work your way up from the bottom, like we always do. How’s being there with my sister?”

“It’s great. Really great. I mean, last week was crazy with the start of school, but I’m sure things will settle down once we get into a new routine.”

“I got me a new routine,” he says softly. “Abigail Marelli.”

“That kind of shocks me,” I say with a laugh. “She’s really smart.”

“She’s my physics partner, and I expect we’ll be partnering soon in some other ways. Starting tomorrow night, when she comes over after practice to study. Did I mention she’s purposely been wearing low-cut sweaters?”

“You didn’t.”

“Diamond!” I hear Coach’s voice call out. “Time’s up. And, Mackenzie, give ’em hell up there. A little shock and awe.”

“Good advice, Coach,” Damon says to both of us. “And on that note, I’d better go.”

Tuesday, January 28th

Clear the air.

Chase

I’m heading over to the student center to meet up with Dani before my afternoon classes. Had I told her about my possible plan to come to school early, we probably could have worked out better schedules, but I didn’t know we’d be dating, and honestly, with all the time I need to spend at the stadium, it wouldn’t have mattered. This semester, her classes start midmorning. She sleeps in then rolls into class. I work out all morning, have lunch, then have afternoon classes. Athletes meals are specifically made for us at the athletic facility, based on our individual off-season conditioning plans. And since Dani isn’t an athlete, she can’t join me at that table, so I’m meeting her for lunch.

I’m moving across campus quickly so I’m not late when I get a text from her, saying she’s running behind. Something to do with someone in her sorority. Hopefully, at some point, I’ll get to meet all her friends, but there hasn’t been time. And so far, there hasn’t been an event where she could bring a date.

I had visions of us being together at college—that it would be like what I had hoped it would have been in high school. Us walking hand in hand through the halls. Hanging out with our friends. Seeing her practicing cheers while I was on the field with the team. We’ve only been in school for a couple of weeks, so I’m sure it’s just a matter of getting into a new routine. Spend more time together. Of course, part of the reason we haven’t had as much time as we’d like is the whole roommates situation. Her roommate, Alyssa, broke up with her boyfriend recently and barely leaves the room. And Treyvon often has girls at our place. And although he doesn’t care, it’s awkward for me.

It’s cold out today, but the sun is shining, so I stop to sit on a bench and soak it up for a moment.

“Chase!” I hear my name called out.

When I turn my head in the voice’s direction, I find Eddie—as in frat boy Eddie, who Dani brought home for Thanksgiving in a move that almost ended our friendship for good.

But I honestly like the guy, so I give him a grin. I haven’t seen him since I got here. “Eddie. How are you?”

“Good. But I texted you and haven’t heard from you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m trying to get—I don’t know—into a routine.”

“The routine in college is classes, studying, and partying. Are you telling me that you haven’t been to a single party yet?”

I shrug, not wanting to explain that I’m really not a big partier.

“Hmm. Okay, I’m just going to ask you straight up. Are you avoiding my house? Because if you are, I think we need to clear the air about Dani.”

“Uh, okay.” Shit. I should have just told him the truth.

“I thought she was cool. Did I move too fast with the whole getting pinned thing? Yes. But I thought the romance of it all—especially for a freshman—would, you know, make her a little more eager.”

“Eager?” I ask, one eyebrow raised as I consider punching him.

“You know we kissed. And to be honest, it wasn’t that great. You should also know she really was like, Come home with me, not like what you thought.”

“You were pre-engaged,” I counter.

“More like pre-sex. But you didn’t know that. And you were jealous. But cool with me. Pissed at her though!”

This makes me laugh. “I was very pissed at her. We had sort of an open relationship—thought we were being mature about us being in two places. But one of my friends told me it was apathy on my part. Have you been talking to Dani?”

“Maybe a bit.”

“Okay, then sure on the advice.”

“Simple. Just woo her. You’ve never dated, right?”

“We were together for a couple of weeks on a vacation, then the last semester thing, so, no, not really.”

“Romance her, take her on dates, make her feel as special as I know you think she is. And don’t let football get in the way. And are you sure I can’t talk you into being in my frat?”

“Yeah, I think I have enough to worry about. Especially if you think she thinks I’m still apathetic.”

“You gonna start this fall?”

“That’s the plan. Well, my plan anyway. Now, I just have to convince the coaches and the team that I’m the guy they want on the field with them.”

“And how do you do that?”

“Simple. Just like I did in high school. I have to earn their respect.”

“I take people on the golf course when I want to do that. Show them I can put my money where my mouth is, so to speak.”

“That’s exactly what I have to do every day in the weight room—show them.”

“And you’re good, right? I will admit, after Thanksgiving, I looked you up. You and Damon … had quite the run in high school, huh?”

“We did. Three of four state championships. That’s what I want to do here. Bring our team back to the glory days.”

“It’s my understanding that it wasn’t just the coaches who recruited this new class.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, Damon has a true gift. People adore him, and he’s so personable. Loves talking to everyone. We made a lot of friends at camps and during recruiting visits. And he told them we could do it together. He’s a lot like his dad.”

“But he’s a showboat. I can tell. You’re not.”

“Yeah, but it’s warranted. Damon is one hell of a receiver. Literally, when we practice together alone, I purposely throw stuff he shouldn’t be able to catch.”

“But he does?”

“Luckily for me.”

“Miss him?”

“I do. We spent a lot of time together. We enjoyed going out but didn’t feel the need to get drunk every weekend.”

“All the football players aren’t like that though, I’m sure,” he says.

“A lot of them like to party hard. I’m just so careful about everything I put in my body, like I track all the food I eat for the proper nutrients. Sugar is my big splurge, and do you know how much sugar alcohol has in it? So maybe I’ll have a few when I’m on vacation or something. Or maybe when I watch a game, I have a few beers—and I mean, a few, as in, like, two. Which, in some ways, alienates me from my teammates and frat boys like you.”

“Frats are trying to be less about partying and more about philanthropy,” Eddie says. And he says it with a straight face, but when I arch an eyebrow at him, he starts laughing. “Well, trying would be the key word. Seriously, I am there with you. I like to stay in shape, and I love an early morning round of golf on the weekends. Hate being hungover on the course. So, we have more in common than you think. What do you say, honorary member?”

“Sure—” I start to say, but I stop talking when I see Dani sauntering our way.

She’s wearing my brown leather jacket, one that is big on her, but she says it’s so soft and warm. I like it because it almost matches the color of her hair and makes her blue eyes stand out. But the best part of seeing her right now is knowing that she’s walking toward me. The boy she loves. Her boyfriend. The boy who wants to be so much more than that. And Eddie is right. I’m going to show her that. I need to.

Eddie hits me.

“What?” I ask.

“You’re staring big time.”

“Can’t help it. Since I was a kid, I know the second Dani walks into any room.”

He gives my elbow a nudge. “Bet you’re kind of glad her little brother isn’t here right about now.”

“Exactly,” I say with a grin.

When Dani comes to stand next to us, she immediately says to Eddie, “Hey, we have a mixer with you coming up.”

“Part of why I just told Chase he is an official honorary member. He can come to our parties anytime he wants.”

“Really?” Dani says, tossing her arms around his neck. “Thank you!”

“Hey, what about me?” I ask, pretending to be jealous—okay, maybe I don’t have to pretend.

Dani turns and saunters over to me, a sexy sway in her hips. She wraps her arms around my neck and plants a big, fat kiss on my lips. “You now have a date with me on Friday night.”

Eddie walks off, but he mouths to me, You’d better be there.

Desperately.

Devaney

“I’m so excited!” I tell Chase, grabbing his hand as we walk toward an off-campus restaurant.

It has good food, where you can choose exactly what and how much of each ingredient you want. I always get a salad. Chase usually gets a veggie-and-meat-laden bowl over rice.

“Me, too,” he says, giving my hand a squeeze. “It was really nice of Eddie.”

“Well, you are going to be the star quarterback next year.” I grin.

Chase lets out a sigh. “Of course, that’s what I envision, but, you know, I’m starting over, and the competition will be tough.”

“Yeah, but with last year’s starter gone, you definitely have a good shot at it.”

He nods his head at me, but I can tell he’s not convinced, which isn’t really like him. And lately whenever I ask him about his workouts and how he does, he doesn’t seem to have much to say.

We order our food, then find a cozy booth in the back.

“How are your workouts? Do you like them? Are they different from what you did in the past?”

“Not a ton. Focusing a little more on agility than before, but defenders are fast, so that’s a good thing.”

“Are you making friends?”

“Sure. I mean, sort of. I knew coming in midterm would allow me a jump on players who came in the fall, but because most everyone has been here, they kind of have their own routines, you know. Workout partners, and all that. But let’s talk about something more fun. Like how coming here midterm means I get to be with you.”

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask, feeling a little nervous.

He tilts his head at me and studies my face. “I think we’re both busier than we expected, and we aren’t getting the alone time that I thought we might, but seeing your face every day definitely brightens mine.”

“Does yours need brightening, Chase? Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m fine, Dani. Just adjusting to it all. I’m sure you had a routine last semester, and now, here I am.”

“Well, I’m excited I get to introduce you to all my sorority sisters at the mixer. We’ve got to find you something adorable to wear.”

“Wear?”

“Yeah, the mixers are usually themed. This one is valentines, but specifically, the guys are supposed to wear white with red accents, and the girls will be in pink. And now that I know you are coming, I have the perfect outfit.”

“Now that I’m coming?” he asks, looking a little confused.

I lean closer to him and whisper in his ear, “What I’m wearing now is much sexier than what I would have worn without you there.”

“Hmm,” he says, leaning in and giving me a kiss. “Now, I actually do want to go. Maybe you should give me a preview.” He glances at his watch. “Maybe before class?”

I lay my fork down and say, “I’m done. Let’s go.”

We’re barely in my room before he starts kissing me desperately. Like I can feel that Chase has missed me. And I feel the same.

“I love you,” he murmurs against my mouth between kisses before picking me up, then sitting on my bed with me in his lap.

I don’t get to respond because he deepens our kiss, and then I forget about love and start to think about wants, needs, and desires. I have the presence of mind to check my watch as he slides his hands up my shirt.

“We have to be quick,” I say when he moves his lips from my mouth down to my jaw, then to my neck.

“I was ready for this the second you walked up to me and Eddie,” he says, stopping for a moment to catch my gaze.

“Me, too,” I tell him, unbuttoning his pants.

Everything moves quickly after that. And I suppose that’s why they call it a quickie. Lots of pent-up passion, frantic kissing, and a ticking clock pushing things along.

When it’s over, I wrap my arms around his neck, lean into his broad shoulder, and let out a contented sigh. It doesn’t matter if our encounters last minutes or hours. All are equally amazing. But I am crazy in love with this boy.

I lift my head and look at us. Still joined together but a disheveled mess. His shirt is half-unbuttoned, pants unzipped and down just enough. My hair feels tangled from his hands being in it, but I’m still mostly dressed. And very thankful I wore a cute little plaid skirt today.

“We should probably …” I tell him.

“Yeah, we should,” he says.

We’re barely put back together when Alyssa gets back from class.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here? I thought you had class.”

“Yeah, we do. And we’d better get going! See you later,” I yell to her as Chase pulls me out of the room.

“That was close,” he says, smacking my butt.

“But so worth it,” I say.

“Agreed. See you tonight. I’d better run. I’ve got to get halfway across campus in, like, three minutes.”

“I have my sorority meeting tonight,” I remind him. “Breakfast?”

He gives me another kiss. “I think we need to make this lunch date a regular thing,” he says, and then he’s off.

I wander slowly to class with a grin on my face.

But once I get there, I realize that’s sort of how things have been since we got here. Sex has been fast. Half-undressed. And I miss just lying in his bed, my face on his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling him run his fingers through my hair. Talking about everything or saying nothing.

I’m supposed to live in the sorority house next semester, and I was strongly considering it, just from a sisterhood standpoint, even though Jadyn offered me a place in the condo building she’d bought. But I’m not going to anymore. Chase and I need our own space. We need to be able to come home at the end of our day and be together. Sleep together—and in this case, I’m not talking about sex—and wake up together. Because even though we usually still talk to each other before we go to sleep at night, it’s not the same. But the thought of sleeping with him while my roommate or his is in the same room just isn’t appealing to me. I’m used to sneaking over to his house. I’m used to us having that time alone.

But desperate times might call for desperate measures.