Movie Review: The Sitter

It’s movie review day, here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. Today we are seeing the movie, The Sitter. The Sitter is a redo of Adventures in Babysitting, which was a movie I personally loved. Will this movie stand up? Will it be better? Or was it not worth trying to remake?

The Verdict: This movie starts out with a sex scene. Specifically, the sitter is going down on his girlfriend. That scene is actually pretty funny. It’s obvious that she’s just using him for his down under skills. She’s all for him making her feel good, but she’s not willing to reciprocate. She’s a total screw up, but he has the hots for her and love is blind. He doesn’t see what an idiot she is. She won’t go out with him tonight, so he ends up babysitting three messed up children.

This is where the movie kinda lost me. I’m fine with kids being messed up. I don’t understand why they felt they had to make one kid an anxiety drug addict because of his new found gay feelings, the other is an adopted kid from somewhere where they speak Spanish. He is obsessed with bathrooms, bombs, and wears pjs, but thinks he’s a badass. And the little girl is totally adorable, but she wants to be Paris Hilton. It’s kinda bizarre. Why can’t they just suffer from having fucked up parents like normal children?

The adventure they go on seemed forced to me. The awesome characters they tried to bring in from the original just didn’t have the funny appeal or were lackluster in comparison, not sure.

And we couldn’t even have a simple drug dealer out to get us. We had a sometimes gay man, with a gun, who lived in a cocaine producing kickboxing arena type thing and had hot muscled men working. Many swung big hammer things. I forget what they are called. They swung them to break up cement. Apparently the drug business is booming, and they are expanding?

The other thing wrong with this movie is there was no hot college boy. There was some very beautiful girl who used to know the sitter when he was in college. They had an astronomy class together, and she was afraid to talk to him. Uh, yeah. Right.

So I met this guy. He was kinda cute, kinda messed up. I kinda wanted to fix him. Like the little bird with the broken wing. I was definitely going to release him when he got his shit together. Probably before that, but you know. And things were going well, like I think this guy and I could be friends. There was ZERO chemistry between us, but he was a nice guy. We stopped in at a party, and all my caring about little birds disappeared because I met this guy.

 

And I thought I’d never see him the adorable college boy again, but then he showed up in his jeep, brought back the little girl I was babysitting for’s skates. And then we kissed. (Cue the music, And then he kissed me.)

Oh, yeah, back to The Sitter movie. I’m a bit ambivalent about it. I’d say it wasn’t a BAD DATE, but wouldn’t wanna HOOK UP with it either. 2.5 stars.

Just a reminder of how we rank movies here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos:

One Star = Walk of shame. I was in last night’s dress, carrying my shoes as I rushed off. I can’t believe I wasted my time on him and pray no one I know sees me.

Two Stars = Bad date. He didn’t really do anything wrong, we just didn’t have any chemistry. Maybe he just wasn’t my type. I probably won’t answer if he calls.

Three Stars =Hookup. We had a great night together. Don’t know if it will be more than that, but it was sure fun while it lasted.

Four Stars = Stalking him. What a night! We danced, we kissed. Now if I could just get him to call me.

Five Stars = Happily ever after. I love him! I want to marry him, have his babies, and live happily ever after.