It’s movie review day, here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos. Today two great movies released, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and Mission: Impossible -Ghost Protocol. I love Mission: Impossible movies, so I’m super excited to see this.
Here’s the trailer:
The Verdict: My local theater just added an IMAX theater, so I got to see Ghost Protocol on a huge screen with great visual and sound effects. My seat even vibrated when the Kremlin blew up. This movie was even better than the last. It had me on the edge of my seat the whole, entire time. I mean there is this crazy man who wants to know what the world will be like after a nuclear holocaust. And since he has his own theories, he wants to test them out, cuz he’s crazy like that, and now he has the Russian launch codes!!! We MUST stop him!!
I really enjoyed this movie. Like I said, edge of my seat, nail bitingly good movie. For those of you that don’t know it, I didn’t want to be a writer when I grew up, I wanted to be a spy. This movie let me fulfill that dream for a couple hours.
Some things I learned in this movie:
1. I never, and I mean ever, want to climb up the outside of the tallest building in Dubai. I really hate heights.
2. I know that Russian prisons probably don’t have much sunlight, so tanning is probably restricted, but Tom Cruise’s chest probably could have stood a dose of self tanner. I mean if you have enough clout to get yourself broken out of a Russian prison, manage to infiltrate the Kremlin, survive a bomb blast, escape the Russian secret police, get to Dubai in four hours, surely you could at least wipe one of those little self tanning towels across your chest before we have to see you shirtless. I mean it is Hollywood, after all.
3. Because of my spying dreams, it’s good to know that Billionaire art collectors / former Russian arms dealers can still be tricked into giving you secrets with a backless dress, a little cleavage, and some scotch.
4. Unlike MI-6 and James Bond’s gadgets, our American spy gadgets don’t always work so well. Evidently, we’ve been manufacturing our spy gadgets at the same factories in China that make those remote control trucks we buy my son every year for Christmas. You know the ones, the ones that work for like four hours Christmas morning. Bring that shit back in house, boys.
5. Laughter is the best medicine. When you go through some crazy, death defying stuff, it’s important to be able to laugh about it. Also, how difficult your job is – is all relevant. You never know what your coworkers have gone through.
6. I want to jump on a slow moving beat up train car, open it up with a retinal scan, and have it be super cool inside. Like it’s so cool and modern. Whoever designed that thing, then smuggled it into Russia, was seriously thinking ahead. I wanna work with them someday. It had beds, clothes, a weapons and money cache, spy gadgets, food and clothing. It was also super modern, yet kinda cozy.
7. For Christmas, I really want those contact lens thingymaboppers that allow you to scan documents and take pictures by simply blinking your eyes, but I want them retrofitted so they will allow me to take holiday photos without blinking my eyes.
8. I also REALLY want a BMW, cuz those things are badass. Like the safety mechanisms, airbags, must be amazing. You can survive rolling those things like ten times. If you like accidentally crash one into a river, there will be enough air for you to breathe while people are shooting machine guns at you, and handy dandy flares will pop out which will allow you to escape. Also, should I ever need to drive a car over the side of a cliff and drop the thing a hundred feet or so, landing the car on it’s nose, I’m doing it in a BMW. I will only have a slight limp because the airbags on those things are apparently phenomenal. Also, when I’m going to a party in a backless dress. I’m driving this thing.
9. Speaking of badasses, Ethan Hunt is one BAMF. Seriously. And now that he’s running the joint should make for some exciting future missions. I’m fully expecting him to be calling me. So like if you’re looking for me on twitter, and I’m mysteriously absent for a few days, feel safe in knowing I’m probably out saving the world. And then when I’m done, I’m calling 007 (the Daniel Craig version) for a little R&R on a private beach somewhere. So it may be a week or so. Just don’t want you to worry.
So we’ve been out before, numerous times. He doesn’t even bother to call, just shows up and sweeps me off my feet. Our dates are adrenaline filled rushes. We do crazy stuff, rock climbing, parasailing, parkouring, gambling, jumping out of airplanes, driving fast cars. You name it, we’ve probably done it. We’ve probably even saved the world a time or two. He has tons of energy, and it’s hard not to fall for that. It’s sexy, dangerous, very appealing. Although he doesn’t stick around long after, the time we have together is always amazing. I’d consider marrying him and living HAPPILY EVER AFTER with him, like if he’d stick around, but in the mean time, I’ll totally be STALKING HIM. Now, if I can just find him. (4.5 stars!!)
On a side note, check back later this weekend for my review of Sherlock Holmes. I’m going to see it on Sunday with the hubby. My fifteen year old saw it last night and said it was one of the best movies he’s seen in a while. He went on and on about the camera work. I guess there is one part where they film someone running through a forest, and you get both a 360 degree view and the kind of view where you are running with him. This is my son that drives the go karts, and if we’d let him, would probably go through life with a Go-Pro video camera attached to himself. Speaking of that. Final standing for kart racing came out yesterday. He finished the year as the ninth ranked semi pro driver in the country and is also the youngest driver in the top ten. Congrats, Connor!!
Just a reminder of how we rank movies here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos:
One Star = Walk of shame. I was in last night’s dress, carrying my shoes as I rushed off. I can’t believe I wasted my time on him and pray no one I know sees me.
Two Stars = Bad date. He didn’t really do anything wrong, we just didn’t have any chemistry. Maybe he just wasn’t my type. I probably won’t answer if he calls.
Three Stars =Hookup. We had a great night together. Don’t know if it will be more than that, but it was sure fun while it lasted.
Four Stars = Stalking him. What a night! We danced, we kissed. Now if I could just get him to call me.
Five Stars = Happily ever after. I love him! I want to marry him, have his babies, and live happily ever after.
And since, surprisingly, there were no hot shirtless men in this movie, and since we’re in the holiday spirit here at Glitter, Bliss, and Perfect Chaos, we’ll leave you with our favorite little Santa cutie. Like he’s my screensaver right now. Just cuz I love the holidays so much, and my spirit for it is like so big. And maybe I like to drool over his pretty face and sexy body and picture him coming down my chimney. I’m off now to unwrap his package. Um, I mean, off to wrap my packages. Like all the Christmas gifts I bought.
Ho, ho ho!!
(If you like books with hot guys like this, be sure to check out That Boy!!)